Dear Guy in the Britney Spears Video:Posted: April 20, 2011
I love you. I don’t even know your name, but I would marry you in a heartbeat if you asked me.
I’m sure everyone is surprised to find out I’m in love with you. After all, you come off as a total jackass in the video. It takes a special kind of douchebag to do that without saying a word. With the way you blew off Britney for a phone call (Really? Who does that to Britney Spears?) and the vase that you pitched at a wall, not to mention the photographer you attacked– wait, where was I going with that?
Oh yeah. I really do love you. It’s that moment at the end, where you desperately pull Britney out of the water and look at her with so much remorse. It just proves that no matter how much of of a dick you can be, you still really do love her.
See, I think I can fix you. What does that mean, you ask? It means that the perfect guy, the one you only show for a few seconds, is in there somewhere and I can draw him out. Eventually, after years of me feeling inadequate and you telling me that I should “just go” on a weekly basis, you probably still won’t be that perfect guy all the time. However, you’ll show me glimpses of him often enough to convince me that I am, in fact, fixing you.
Hey, I never said our relationship would be healthy.
Youtube won’t let me post the “Everytime” video here, but here’s the link: Everytime, Britney Spears