My crazy manifests itself in obsession over fictional characters.Posted: January 25, 2011
Dear Dr. Mike:
I’d tell you that I love you, but you already know that. You’ve known that since I was 14. I’m pretty sure you inspired me to record Days every day starting in junior high… I just couldn’t stand to miss a second of you onscreen. I put up with all the other storylines (although if I remember correctly, they had some pretty good ones going then) just so I could see you. Those blue eyes broke my heart and made me smile all at the same time.
As much as I loved you, I always wanted you to be with Carrie. It was obvious that you wouldn’t be happy with anyone but her. Above all else, I wanted you to be happy. I didn’t want to see that indescribable look in your eyes that came every time she let you down. You never pressured her to leave Austin, though. You just weren’t that kind of guy, and I loved that about you.
I remember tearing up whenever you were upset. To me, that’s always been the telltale sign that I’m in love. You hurt, I cry. I thought that if I could just be there for you, be the friend who was always waiting for you in the shadows, I could somehow steal your heart from her. We’ll never know what might have been…
I vowed never to watch Days again when you left. What was the point? Sure, there was Eric Brady, but he just wasn’t you. The show kept me sucked in, though, and I was watching this summer when you came back for a few episodes. I know you’re busy with the new TV show now, but maybe if that comes to an end you could come back to Days. Or maybe you could just be on every now and then… after all, Jen needs her brother right now. And I need a reason to start watching again.
I just can’t let go of you. I still recall the scene in that barn after you and Carrie were in an accident… you took care of her and spilled your heart out to her, and she didn’t hear any of it. I wished you had been talking to me.
I don’t deny that my love for you classifies me as crazy. Hell, I’ve held a flame for a fictional character for over 10 years. I just can’t get over you. When I finally finish Finding Home and make it into a movie, you’re going to be my first choice to play Johnny.
I’ll always love you, Mike. No matter what.
P.S. My husband is fully aware that I would leave him for you. Just so you know.