I just don’t trust technology.

Maybe it’s an insecurity issue. Maybe Myspace burned me one too many times, and now I just can’t trust a machine to keep my important data for me. Sure, technology has given me good things, like many friends made through blogging and the ability to be in touch with anyone, anywhere, at any time. But that’s not enough. I’ve seen one too many blogs disappear into internet oblivion before they posted, and I’ve clicked the wrong button on enough occasions to know that just one little mistake can cost me everything.

Then there’s all the privacy issues. Have you heard of spokeo.com yet? If you haven’t, go ahead and check it out. Type in your name and see what comes up.

See why I don’t trust technology?

Most of the information I found on there under my name has never been public on Facebook, or anywhere else. It makes me wonder what other kind of sensitive information that I’ve entered on the internet can be so easily made public… like, my debit card number.

Yeeeeeeeeeeahhhh…

Then there’s the idea that anything I put on the internet will be saved for all eternity. Sometimes, I can convince myself that’s not true. I tried to retrieve my blogs from my old Myspace profile a few months ago… no dice. However, I don’t want my kids to Google my name 15 years from now and see some of the stuff I’ve written here. I feel bad for all the kids who are the subject of their parents’ blogs– it’s a permanent record of all their ups and downs as toddlers and young children. Really, who wants to Google themselves and find a 10 year old blog about the first time they pooped on the toilet? Internet records are so much different from a scrapbook or photo album. They’re accessible by anyone, and they’re impossible to destroy.

I’m not saying I won’t blog about my kids once I have them… I’m just saying I won’t be proud of myself for doing it.

Because I don’t fully trust technology, I haven’t truly gained an understanding of everything I have at my fingertips. I mean, what does WordPress have to offer that I just haven’t discovered yet? What can my digital camera really do if I utilize all its functions? How simple could my life be if I just let go of the fear and trusted my life to technology?

I long for the days when my move would have inspired pages upon pages of handwritten letters. I’ve gotten a few, and I’ve written a few, but what’s the point of that when most of the people I know are on Facebook? That’s something I want to do more of: hand-write letters. Just a page or two to say hey, I’m still alive. And I was thinking about you.

I feel like I’m out of the loop with all this. I’m part of the age group that’s supposed to be techno-savvy and techno-dependent. We grew up with computers… literally. We remember MS-DOS (and all the cool games that went with it). We’ve bitched and whined with every change to our beloved programs, and then oohed and aahed when we finally figured out everything we can do with the new program.

How is it that “oohed” is a word, yet “aahed” is not? Hmm.

I need to let go. I need to realize that technology is a good thing. There’s a website out there for everything from tracking ovulation to helping me lose weight. I don’t have a smartphone… yet. I can’t wait to get one, to be able to constantly be in touch with everything and everyone.

Then there’s the website I want to start. I’ll need to stay on top of that, and checking my e-mail once or twice a day just won’t suffice. There’s so much I want to do with it, and it’s all possible. Now, if I could just figure out what the hell I’m doing…

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