Buying into the hype…Posted: January 13, 2011
I hate winter. With a passion. It’s a passion that runs so hot and deep that I could probably name a porn after it. Yeah, it’s that awesome.
Maybe awesome isn’t the right word…
I grew up in the Midwest. From November-March, I was freezing. We’re talking cloudy skies, frigid winds, and temperatures that regularly drop into the single digits. I’d spend my days dressed to the nines (what the hell does that expression even mean?) in long sleeves and a thick coat, and my nights under layers of blankets because I just can’t sleep with more than a t-shirt on. Can’t. Do. It.
I finally stopped whining about it and moved. I was tired of being cold all the time, and I was tired of all the assholes who couldn’t figure out that flooring it from a dead stop when there’s snow on the ground doesn’t exactly work.
Ok, so I was that asshole. Don’t judge me.
Unfortunately, winter followed me. We’ve had two snowstorms this winter. Although they’re nothing compared to what we had in Illinois, this winter shit still sucks.
However, everything down here shuts down when there’s snow on the ground. Including my work. Yay for snow days! I’ve had 3. I feel like a little kid seeing the school closings on the bottom of the screen while watching the morning news when I get that call from my boss saying we’re closed due to inclement weather. If I had the equipment, I’d be sledding and doing all that other fun stuff that comes with snow. I’ve found myself wishing for a pair of snowpants so I can slide across all the ice on the ground on my knees.
I miss those days from elementary school when we all took turns sliding on the huge patch of ice in the parking lot. Sure, I got my share of fat lips from falling flat on my face, but that was fun.
I think I’m happy that my future children won’t experience snow and winter the way I did. I’m sure we’ll make the occasional trip back to Illinois in the winter, but they won’t have months on end of freezing, icky weather like I did. I’ll still teach them how to build a good snowman and take them sledding down a steep hill, and show them how to make snow angels. I’ll make hot cocoa and soup and…
I say this like I’m going to be little Susie Homemaker…
But really, isn’t the whole point of having kids being able to go do all that fun stuff that just isn’t expected of adults? I mean, if I were to go to the park and sit on the swings for hours, people might start calling the cops to report a pedophile. Sometimes, I just want to go play outside. I want to ride bikes (you never forget how, right?) and kick a ball around just for the hell of it and play tag and all that other fun stuff.
I won’t share my Barbies, though. Those are mine.